Unfortunately, we aren’t given a dating rulebook when we start dating. Most guys get their dating advice from friends or family. A ton of bad advice is recirculated this way. Conventional dating advice is so full of terrible ideas that you are better off trying to figure it out on your own rather than listening to this advice.
Most men aren’t very good at dating. There are pitfalls we have to avoid. We have to learn a lot of this through firsthand mistakes. This destroys many potential relationships before they get a chance to bloom.
So we have to learn what to do in order to present ourselves well. And more importantly, we have to learn what NOT to do. Here are some things girls hate about guys.
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Dating has changed
In the world of dating, there are a lot of rules. And many of these rules are outdated and counterproductive. For example, in some circles, it is considered a faux pas to call a woman within three days after she gives you her phone number. This is nonsense. You have to strike while the iron is hot, and while you are fresh in her mind. In this day and age when we’re all connected 24/7 through texting and social media, waiting three days before following up is an eternity!
So what should we do? Well-intentioned people often offer advice that’s either too old-fashioned or just plain wrong. So, as a man, you need to be wary of bad advice. You need to take advice that actually applies to today’s dating climate.
A critical piece of dating advice
There’s this weird thing about dating. It is less important what you do than what you don’t do. Here’s what I mean.
You can do a bunch of things right and still fail. You can be a gentleman, be funny, be charming, and be attractive. These are all good things to be by the way. Yet, even if you hit all these positive points the date can go sour if you screw up on one of the big faux pas.
Make sure that you avoid the things that girls hate and you will have way better chances to get the relationship going in the direction you want. Here are some of the most important pieces of dating etiquette that guys need to know.
Being boring is a huge turn-off and will kill any chances of a second date faster than anything else! You probably aren’t a boring person but that won’t matter if you portray yourself as boring while on a date.
You need to be interesting to keep her attention. You should try asking her questions about herself. Girls love talking about themselves but if you don’t talk about yourself some too, she won’t feel a connection. When she thinks back about the date, she will feel like she doesn’t know anything about you.
Don’t be afraid to share nerdy stuff about yourself too. Girls respond to passion so don’t hide your hobbies and thoughts. Be genuine with her. Give her a chance to know you, not just some surface-level version of you.
Lack of motivation
Guys who are ambitious will always have an edge in dating. This is one of the reasons so many women are drawn to athletes. But, you don’t have to be a professional athlete or CEO in order to impress her.
You just need to show that your life has some sort of purpose or direction that she can get excited about being a part of. If you don’t have any projects in your own life, what are you doing? You aren’t going to feel like a complete man without having a project or purpose to work on.
Back to the topic, if you are saying something like “I’m just chilling right now” when she asks what you’re are doing with your life, this is a huge turn-off. No girl wants to feel responsible for motivating her potential boyfriend because it’s an unfair responsibility to take on.
Neediness and clinginess
It’s natural that you are excited about getting to know this girl better but don’t make her your world or she will run. She should be an enhancement to your life. She shouldn’t be your whole life. Girls don’t want that. They want a man who has his own life.
You don’t want to be texting and calling her all of the time. If you do, you will come across as a needy, clingy beta guy. Don’t be afraid of being busy or of not responding to her right away though. Don’t feel obligated to respond within five minutes each time she messages you.
Addiction to tv, sports, or video games
There is nothing wrong with using entertainment to relax, relieve stress, and have fun. The problem comes in when it’s the only way you can relax or cope with your problems.
This is another way that you can come across as boring if she finds that all you ever do together is watch tv or play video games. There aren’t too many girls who want to date a guy who spends all of his free time watching TV or playing games.
Don’t be ashamed of your guilty pleasures but know when it’s time to put the controller down and be productive.
Being too cocky
This is one of the biggest turn-offs to a woman. Most girls don’t want a guy who talks too much about himself and about how great he is. Remember that you aren’t the only person on this planet and she is an equal. Arrogance is never a good look. It makes you look foolish and will severely hurt your chances of a second date.
It’s fine to convey confidence but don’t be too cocky and full of yourself. Cockiness is a sign of insecurity for men and girls know this. You don’t have to be insecure though. You can convey confidence without coming across as cocky.
You might not consider yourself a dirty guy but if you aren’t showering daily, washing your clothes, wearing too much cologne or body spray, or have visible stains on your clothes, don’t be surprised when the girl gives you the “polite brush-off”.
Smelling bad is extremely off-putting when it comes to dating so make sure that you and your clothes are clean. Smelling like cigarette smoke will be a deal-breaker for the majority of women. Being a smoker cuts out a huge section of women from your dating pool. Non-smokers rarely date smokers.
Brush and floss your teeth. Flossing is especially important because the bacteria in your mouth can affect your breath. Brushing or using mouthwash might not be enough to kill those germs. Things could be going well on a date and then when you are getting ready for the kiss, do you want it all to fall apart because of your nasty breath? Of course not. So make sure this is handled.
Regular haircuts and shaving are important as well. Even if you aren’t the best-looking guy, you need to make the most of what you have. An average-looking guy with great hygiene will do better than a great looking who doesn’t take care of himself.
Talking bad about other people
Don’t make a habit of talking bad about others. A girl wants to be with someone who is positive and not mean-spirited.
If you talk bad about other people, especially your exes, she will wonder if you will say something negative about her down the road. It’s better to let go of grudges and focus on the present and future.
Go ahead and vent about problems in your life but make it brief. No girl wants to hear you complain about other people all of the time or they will run away fast.
Lying is never the right thing to do. There are some little white lies that are acceptable in order to spare someone’s feelings but you shouldn’t be lying about important things in your life. You want to be known as a trustworthy guy.
Regardless of whether or not you think she will like the truth, honesty is always the smart policy when it comes to dating. If you don’t tell the truth, you will come across as shady. And once you are caught in a lie, she will always wonder if you can be trusted. Be honest from the beginning and you will automatically stand out as different from the other guys.
Don’t lie about how many girls you have slept with or try to convince her that your relationship with your ex didn’t end badly (but remember, don’t talk badly about the ex. Just be factual.) If she ever finds out that you lied to her, it will be a huge turn-off for her. Don’t make promises that you can’t keep.
This advice goes way beyond dating. Be an honest person in every aspect of your life.
Putting it all together
Internalize these points about what not to do when dating. The next time you go on a date, be conscious of how you are acting. By avoiding these mistakes, you will instantly be better at dating than most guys out there. You don’t have to be anywhere near perfect but following these guidelines will put you far ahead of the game. By not making these few deal-breaking mistakes, you will be tiers ahead of the other dudes.
Some of these points might seem like common sense but it never hurts to remind yourself about what not to do when dating. It’s easy to forget all this stuff in the heat of the moment. Use these ideas to become a better man, not just a guy who is learning tactics to look like a better man.