A dead-end conversation will bring any social interaction to a halt. You are there talking to a friend or a romantic interest and your mind goes blank. The conversation has become boring and stale. What can you do to bring life back into the conversation and save everyone from the awkwardness?
This can happen to even the most socially adept guys. Sometimes you’ll be flowing and carrying the conversation smoothly and without conscious effort, and then suddenly, disaster strikes. There may be an awkward silence as people gaze at each other hoping that someone will save the conversation.
If you are the man who knows what to say when the conversation is dry, you’ll come across as a leader and more socially savvy. This skill comes with practice but there are some tricks you can have in your pocket for the next time you run into stale conversation. This applies to both an in-person and texting/online conversation.
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Why do conversations screech to a halt?
There are some similarities between both live conversations and digital ones but there are some important differences to be aware of as well. Who you are speaking with is an important factor too. Speaking with a friend is much different than speaking with a business prospect, and also very different than if you were talking to a date or potential date.
When speaking face-to-face, a conversation is dynamic and changes quickly. There are inputs from each participant and body language that you can use for information. If you’ve been talking about one topic extensively for a long time, eventually you will hit a wall. The topic has been exhausted and nobody has any follow-up points relevant to the conversational thread. To deal with this, you simply change to a different topic. The new topic doesn’t even have to be related to the previous one, but it can if you choose.
Opening up a new thread will allow everyone to bring in fresh ideas. This can instantly revitalize the talk.
Another common cause for a slowdown is being too factual. Guys especially will focus on hard facts. To deal with this, ask for opinions. Ask what they think about the situation. This gives more flexibility for fresh ideas to be introduced into the conversation and can revive the talk quickly. Asking for the opinions of others can even get an introvert to chime in and become more involved with the group.
One other common reason that grinds even an interesting conversation to a halt is when someone says something extremely awkward. You’ve been there. Someone says something that makes everyone shut their mouths and look around awkwardly in silence. To remedy this, it’s best to ignore the strange comment entirely and jump back to a previous or fresh thread. By letting the awkwardness linger too long, it becomes more difficult to bring the flow back. Act quickly and you can salvage the situation most of the time.
I’m going to assume that when texting, we are talking about texting a girl. Texting is a much slower way to communicate and allows more thought between each back and forth message.
Because of this, we will also notice more clearly when she is less engaged, either by responding more slowly or sending shorter, concise responses. These signals let us know that we are losing her interest.
She usually loses interest because you are sending boring, unengaging messages. Your messages have to stand out if you want to hold her interest for long.
What to say when the conversation is dry
When the conversation goes dry, you can take control and bring it back to life by introducing a story. The story doesn’t even have to be related to the topic. It can but it isn’t required.
By adding something fresh, it will get the attention of the group and make them curious. Of course, you need to be at least a somewhat decent conversationalist for this to work but you don’t have to be amazing. Just by being willing to open up new conversational threads, you take charge of the group and others can jump in to add more.
How to fix a dry text conversation
Similar to the prior section, when texting with a girl, you can throw in a personal story to regain her attention. She has had boring texts with other guys and even if she likes you, she can still get bored with the same old texts that every guy sends to women.
You can also talk about her. Girls love to hear about themselves. Tell her something that you find interesting about her. Or ask her to tell you something about herself that most people don’t know. Get her to share a dark secret. This is way better than wasting time with pointless small talk that does nothing to advance the conversation.
Talking about the weather or the mundane details of the day will bore her. Talk about something more private. This is what interests women. Make her feel emotions when you talk about your life or her life. This makes the texting more interesting to both of you.
The key point on how to revive a conversation with a girl is to be more interesting than the average guy. Skip the boring stuff that neither of you cares about.
How to restart a dead conversation
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, a conversation will grow stale and die. Maybe this happened before you read this article and now you want to try to bring the conversation back to life.
One good method is to acknowledge that the convo has run dry. By putting this into a text message, you let her know that you are socially aware enough to notice the problem. Many guys lack this social intuition when it comes to texting. They will drive a dead conversation into the ground and continue to send the more boring messages to a woman until she stops responding completely.
By showing her that you recognize the problem, she is far more likely to give you another chance. Your first few messages are important to prove that you are interesting and worth her time to text back to.
Your first messages need to grab her attention and make her feel some kind of emotion. They can be funny, or mysterious, or even sad. But making her feel something is critical if you want to have some back and forth with her. Give her an open-ended question so she can reply with more than a short response. This lets her engage more deeply with you. When you find a topic that she seems interested in you can use a follow-up question to allow her to open up even more.
After your great conversation starter has brought life back into your texts, you don’t have to maintain the same emotional intensity that reignited the messaging but it is a good idea to keep some emotion sprinkles in every now and then. Otherwise, you risk it turning back into a boring everyday conversation and dying again.
Don’t be a dancing monkey and try to be super entertaining with every message. But when you notice her slowing down with responses or being very short with her replies AKA dry texting, it is a signal that you need to grab her attention again.
How to end a conversation politely
You also need to know when the conversation has run its course and it is time to end it, even if only temporarily. It is better to end it early rather than letting it lose steam and fall apart on its own. People will remember the conversation more by how it ends rather than the beginning and middle.
And by ending your text messaging with a woman on a positive note, it leaves her wanting more. This makes her look forward to the next time she can talk to you.
So to end things, be straightforward and succinct. You don’t need an elaborate excuse. Simply say something along the lines of, “well I’ve enjoyed talking with you but I must be going.” See. It’s that’s easy. No apologies or explanation is needed. Put these tips to practice and you’ll be a much more natural conversationalist that others actually look forward to talking with.